Tuesday, February 11, 2014

7 Reasons To Hate Infographics

Ah, infographics, how I love to hate you. The red squiggly under your name in my text editor implies that your very existence is questionable as you try to wriggle your way into our modern lexicon. Infographics are a violation of the sacred purity of clean facts, which I consider the pinnacle of discussion and learning:

"I think that most people are trying to eat healthy, so that's a good reason to pay more attention to healthier food markets. Places like 'Trader Joe's' and generic Farmer's Markets are going to become more and more popular, and I think that's a good thing," my wife says on the way home.

"No, most people aren't trying to eat healthy," I reply.

"What?" She asks.

"Well you said that 'most people' are trying to eat healthy. 'Most people' is, by definition, a majority of the population, greater than 50%. I think 50% is a gross exaggeration. Even if you omit children and the elderly, I think the college to late-life-adult population may have 25% that are devoting any significant energy to healthier eating. That might be too optimistic. I might say 15 to 20%. Certainly not most," I explain.

"... Seriously?" She sounds exasperated.

"What?" It is now my turn to be confused.

"You knew what I meant, why do you have to be so technical?" she asks, upset by my surgical tactics.

"Because facts are the crucial underpinnings to any argument!" I cry out, reaching my arms wide as if to invite the entire logical world to embrace me, confirming my fact-driven wisdom!

I am left bereft of either the logical world's embrace, or my wife's, who looks at me like I'm crazy.

I might be a bit obsessed with getting accurate facts, and presenting them with fidelity to their actual implications. As a scientist, it's what I trained to do. Thinking this way, I have met a great nemesis: Infographics.

By taking some observed 'facts' and presenting them with colorful logos and arrows, you make a world of implications and, in so doing, tell lies to the world around you. There's a reason that we scientists and statisticians like our facts in black 10pt Lucida Console -- it reminds us that we aren't FOX news or CNN. Facts are facts and that's all they are. Believe it or not, I love little hearts and stick people as much as the next guy, but they don't belong with the facts. Looking at this infographic (http://goo.gl/N3Mea3) I found many concerning issues, common to infographics. Here are a few:

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#1) Calling Numbers 'Science'


I need look no further than the title for our first big deception. There is no science in this and many other infographics. Numbers do not mean science. Science is searching for answers by conducting experiments -- merely observing does not fit the bill, and can never establish causation. Using the term 'science' in your title is a terrible appeal to authority. People may be more likely to trust you because you have called it 'science.' They have been duped -- this is not, in fact, science. Despite your cartoon beakers, microscope, and double helices.

#2) Immeasurable quantities. 


Common in many infographics. Here the authors suggest a proportionality between sex (quality? quantity? length of time per? Who knows.), romance (Bringing roses home?), passion (Isn't this a product of sex and romance?) and quality of friendship (Number of times a lemonade stand was run together? Has a spit handshake been executed?). Basically four ideas that are extremely hard to measure are compared, invalidating the entire comparison. In psychology, there are sometimes standard tests for these ideas, but they typically involve self measurement on a 1-10 or 1-5 scale and are notoriously unscientific.

#3) Overly Obvious Observations


Happy people are happy and help make one another happy, but only if both people are initially happy. Also, Two happy people have a 94% chance of being happy together... Shocking. Here, facts are completely abandoned in favor of pandering.  These points are as obvious as they are useless to observe, as I haven't met many people who are campaigning for misery. This is another common infographic tactic: point out an obvious comparison that anyone would agree with, leading you to believe that all comparisons/observations in the infographic are reasonable.

#4) Oversimplification Of Complex Ideas


'Happiness' is probably the hardest metric to measure because it is so multi-faceted:

  • I eat a doughnut(Pleasure happiness); 
  • My country is not at war (Absence of fear happiness); 
  • My moral code gives me confidence in an afterlife  (Peace of mind happiness);
  • I am successful at work (Accomplishment happiness); 
  • I quit that dead-end job to do what I love (Hopefulness happiness); 
  • A history of hard work and devotion that has paid valuable dividends (Satisfaction happiness).

These happinesses are not necessarily of equal value, and every individual seeks after them to different degrees. Couples married 5 years or less and have no children may have extensive pleasure happiness (Presumed increase in sex.) or absence of fear happiness (Breaking up seems less likely.) or hopefulness happiness (Ah the possibilities for the future!). These happinesses are easier for individuals to identify in themselves.
Other more subtle happinesses that many would consider of greater value, such as satisfaction happiness or peace of mind happiness, are unattainable without confronting challenges as a couple (raising children) or sticking it out for a long time (decades of marriage).
Infographics are really bad at this sort of thing. In order to achieve a high degree of 'readability' for all people, they use generic umbrella terms which can apply to a number of things. They do this in the name of 'simplicity' so that everyone can 'learn.' But what is being learnt is confusing at best and dead wrong at worst. Accuracy takes longer to explain and more thinking to appreciate, but without it the facts become falsehoods.

#5) Nonsense Conversions


What? This... I just... what?
I'm sure there's some... numbers... behind this.
I guess someone turned... dollars... into a unit of satisfaction. Then took a measure of happiness change and converted it into dollars...
Wow.
Most infographics aren't this bad. I included this particularly terrible 'fact' for shock value. These conversions may seem interesting at first glance, but only a second's thought reveals the utter foolishness hat must have gone into their concoction.

#6) Unanswered Questions On How Data Is Gathered



Which Americans? Old married couples? Newly married couples? Couples who got divorced? What does the driving decision to marry have to do with happiness in marriage? Are we supposed to believe the most popular reason to get married is also the best one? Were people allowed to choose just one option or could they choose multiple? How many could they pick? Were options given or did they generate their own? Aren't most people surveyed likely to lie and say love? If the most common cause of divorce is financial disagreement, does this imply that if financial stability were more of a factor in deciding to marry that there would be fewer divorces?
These aren't trivial questions -- the answers to each of these SIGNIFICANTLY SKEW HOW WE VIEW RESULTS. Without even a passing reference to how data is collected, which exists only in footnotes that are not well referenced for the individual facts, how can we possibly say anything? These become just random numbers.
Nearly all infographics I've seen are terrible at this. They seldom explain how data is collected, and every scientist spends years and years learning how to properly collect data, knowing that a slight change in how it's collected can render the entire study moot.

#7) Considering Only One Side Of A Question


Marital satisfaction is another compounded issue. With a child, life gets more difficult. Money, time, everything becomes tighter. When you ask someone if they are more or less satisfied with their marriage before or after children, they are probably thinking of how peaceful things used to be, or how there was more money for restaurants and movies. The way these answers are presented here implies that people were happier without kids without saying it outright.
But it wouldn't take long to disprove that idea! Ask any parent if they would rather not have their kids, or go back in time and never have kids at all. We all know how those answers would be slanted, but the way this data is presented implies that children are 'unwanted,' even if no actual numbers say that.
The simplification of extremely complex topics is something politicians have been using to deceive followers and villify opponents for centuries; That we should fall prey to the same tactics so quickly when photoshopped into an infographic with a colorful palette is a true shame.

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All things considered, I must echo the sentiments of one inspired commenter  on the original, "WTF is going on here?"

I should note that the most tragic thing about these infographics is that the data they skew is typically lifted from exellent publications by well-reputed scientistics and analytical organizations. The creators of these grade-school-quality-projects will often throw all of their sources at the bottom and hide behind the citations. It is not enough. It is wildly irresponsible to misrepresent data and then blame the reader for not delving into 20 page articles to find the truth. That was your job, and you did it poorly, if at all.

I'm not trying to be difficult, and I don't expect everyone to jump on my bandwagon. I've seen a lot of infographics, and admittedly I picked one of the worst to make my points. Bill Nye showed us all how good science really can be presented in a colorful and enjoyable format that allows us to learn it accurately. Our responsibility now is to differentiate when we are being presented with facts, and in stark contrast, when facts are being paraded and dressed up to imply conclusions that they don't truly support. Scientific papers are peer-reviewed and typically draw conservative and reasonable conclusions. Infographics are sensationalism at its worst.

You know, this post turned out lengthy and difficult to follow. I wish there was some way I could strengthen my point and communicate it more convincingly.

Maybe I'll make an infographic.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

An Open Letter To The Co-Presidents of Naughty Dog, Inc.

Dear Mr. Wells & Mr. Balestra,

                My name is Taylor Atkinson and I am writing this letter about your phenomenal 2013 release, The Last of Us.

                Let me begin by expressing my profound respect and admiration for your studio. Video game production is a challenging market to make profits in, and its rapid changes make staying relevant and exciting a unique trial. I played Crash Bandicoot when I was 9 when it came with my first PlayStation. Last year I purchased a digital copy on my PlayStation 3 because I love it now as much as I did then.

                I have also followed the Jak & Daxter series, and I adore Uncharted. They are all more than deserving of the awards and accolades they have received. You can understand, then, how thrilled I was for the release of The Last of Us. Unfortunately, I have not been able to experience it. Yet.

                Watching theatrical and gameplay previews in anticipation of its release, I noticed liberal use of profanity throughout. While I expected my hopes to be in vain, I waited to see if there would be content filtering options. While the game has been given a ‘gore filter’, no language filter has been introduced.

                In writing this, I realize I am not representing the majority of ‘gamers,’ or even the majority of media consumers. Most adults purchase video games with complete disregard for the ESRB rating.  Still, there are many of us who feel that if something cannot be shown in good conscience to people under the age of 18, then there is no great benefit to be gained in exposing adults to that same content.

                I would never advocate for restricting any company’s right to produce this content, but rather for options to be available to enjoy excellent media and still maintain one’s own personal standards.

                My moral decisions are mine alone, and in making them I have no desire to pressure or put down others. I consider no one ‘bad’ or ‘worse’ for having different standards, but I try to live mine and hope that a mutual respect encourages everyone to allow for and accommodate one another’s personal views. I realize that I am coming forward as a representative of a moral stance that many consider archaic at best and pointless at worst. Often, ‘gamers’ are portrayed as a group with looser morals and less concern about exposure to mature content. Often mass media has pushed the argument that video games even encourage a casual disregard towards violence, sexuality, and profanity.

I believe this is a lie, one which we all have a responsibility to expose.

I believe ‘gamers’ are equal participants in the millions of individuals throughout the world who have found that a commitment to avoiding excessive violence, sexuality, and profanity whenever possible has led to greater peace, self-control, and respect for all humanity. I believe I speak for them in saying a collective ‘Thank You!’ for the filters you’ve provided, and asking you to expand that effort.

           Critics often point out that profanity provides a more realistic environment representative of what could actually be expected in the portrayed extreme circumstances, and that profanity is mild in comparison to the violence and sexuality in many games, implying an underlying hypocrisy in its opposition.

Both of these arguments have fundamental flaws:

            Firstly, while fidelity to reality is a welcome enhancement to many games, there are many real-life situations whose reproduction would obviously be damaging and hurtful. Real events so terrible as to be nearly unspeakable -- sexual abuse of children, extremely gruesome violence -- frequently occur at the hands of terrible people, but there is little or nothing to be gained by widespread graphic depictions of these acts. This extreme example implies a spectrum of ‘real-life’ events, with varying degrees of gain from their reproduction. While profanity, as well as sexuality and violence, are a day-to-day reality for many people, there are many of us who live such a life that it isn't, and don’t feel anything to be gained from its inclusion.

            Secondly, the prioritizing of standards is something that every individual decides for themselves. While it may seem self-evident to one person that, of the three, violence is worst, sexuality less so, and profanity the least in affecting a mind or spirit, another person may prioritize them differently and should feel free and enabled to do so. When filters are provided for one and not another, every individual cannot feel validated in their individual standards.

           I realize that I am asking you to do something that will not provide your company with direct financial profits. While a profanity filter would make many of us happy, the cost of providing one would not likely be offset by an increase in sales. All the same, the benefits that it would provide are great and noteworthy: A message of inclusion and respect to the entire gaming community and evidence of your company’s commitment to ideals higher than profits alone.

           Optimistically, this could even be a watershed moment, where your actions could help galvanize a large number of producers to include content filtering options, helping people to live according to their moral standards and showing the world at large that the artistic medium of video games produces a respectful, uplifting community – a perception that has been lost in its vilification at the hands of non-participants who have not seen the friendly competition, amazing storytelling, and beautiful art it has provided for all current and future generations

          I would be extremely thrilled to be able to play what is, by all accounts, one of your greatest masterpieces to date; Currently, I am not able to. Even if my letter does not move you to include the profanity filter which I have argued for, it would thrill me to know that you have received it, read it, and considered the ideas I've presented.

         Thank you so much for your time.

                                                                                                                          -Taylor J Atkinson

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Where are you Christmas? How can I fiiiiind yoooooou?

It's Christmas!

Having grown up in Canada, I have a rather precise view of what 'Christmas' is, because Canada is a country which is very 'Christmas'-y, in my very scientific opinion. Canadians are generally known for their politeness and kindness, and everyone's a little kinder during Christmas. Canada is very snowy, and I think a Christmas without snow would be lame. (Sorry, vast majority of the human race.) Christmas has a lot of red and white, so does the Canadian flag. Where's the green? In the vast evergreen forests.

Yup, if every country got a holiday, Canada would have Christmas. Wait, every country has a holiday? Canada Day? Not important, you know what I mean.

As we approach the holiday, it's easy to get a warped idea about what 'Christmas' really is and really means.

Note: I'm not talking about commercialization here. Every year there's a deluge of people/movies/media devoted to talking about how commercialized Christmas is, and I think that's mostly silly. Yes, Christmas is commercialized, and so is every holiday, life event, tragedy, and trend in our society. Christmas isn't overly commercialized, that is to say more so than any other event, and so to some extent I don't care much about that.

Christmas 2006. I was literally on the other side of the world, living in a small apartment above some stores in Gyumri, or Kirovakan if going by the Soviet renaming of cities, in Northern Armenia with my companion, Elder Ryan Leavitt. Being part of the Eastern Orthodox branch of Christianity, Christmas and New Year's are kind of lumped together in a single holiday season in early January. Still, American Culture being as pervasive as it is, a kind of pseudo-Christmas is now celebrated on the 25th. As a missionary, spending every day talking about Christ, it was easy to get to feeling the 'reason for the season.' For me, this Christmas would become unforgettable because of one important lesson learnt.

Elder Leavitt and I went to church and we knew it would be pretty awesome, and not just for the normal reasons -- church in Armenia could always get really exciting really fast, due to the relatively new concept of communal participation in services -- but because the District President would be visiting. This man was an inspiring story and was serving as the religious leader for all Armenians. We were excited to here what he had to say, and he didn't disappoint. President Poghosyan gave me my favorite Christmas lesson of all time:

"Everyone loves Christmas, because Christmas is easy to love. It is about love! It is about kindness. It is easy to love baby Jesus, because baby Jesus is a cute baby, sitting in a manger. Baby Jesus does not require us to give of ourselves to others, to forgive our enemies, to follow his commandments, to love all of our brothers and sisters. It is easy to love baby Jesus, but we must do better. We must remember that baby Jesus grew up, and became Jesus Christ the man, the man who taught us how to live and challenged us to become better versions of ourselves, was the ultimate example, and gave His life for us."

I love this idea, because it highlights the most important point of Christianity, in my mind, and it's not the point that most people think Christianity is trying to make. Christianity is all about Christ, because he was never all about himself. The Christ that baby Jesus grew to become taught us the most important theological lesson of this world: Talking about your religion will never, ever, ever, ever, ever, come close to being as valuable as simply living your religion. This generates a 'light,' a light that will 'shine forth' if only generated. And this all brings me to the point I really want to make, which I will make by hijacking a quote from Charles Spurgeon:

"Defend [Christmas]? I would as soon defend a lion! Unchain it and it will defend itself."

Originally about the Bible, I take Spurgeon's excellent wording to make the same point about the King of Holidays. If you'd like to live Christmas, live Christmas! But don't worry about defending Christmas -- it's a big boy. It can take care of itself.

So don't join in on the conversation currently in the media about the color of Santa's skin. It would be hard for anything to matter less. Drawing attention to race when talking about a man who, in modernity, represents the generosity of the season by visiting all children of the world without distinction -- that wouldn't be very Christmas-y.

Don't waste any time talking about how it's important to affirm Christmas as the main holiday and to try and prevent other holidays from joining in. Don't let anyone's faith go unnoticed, unappreciated, or pushed against. It wouldn't be very Christmas-y.


During the holiday season, don't let a TV celebrity's comments about homosexuality be the basis for an online tirade against either side of a complex ethical and religious division. Don't speak unkindly of those who, in whatever way they see fit, are pursuing the same goal we all are: happiness. It wouldn't be very Christmas-y.

When you see your family members, try to think more about happy memories you've had and less about the hurtful ones. No need to bring up old mistakes people already feel bad about. It wouldn't be very Christmas-y.

So what's the meaning of Christmas? I think it's feeling Christmas-y. It seems like every year I hear that people aren't feeling super 'Christmas-y.' I've never had that problem. Feel free to make use of my fool-proof recipe for 'feeling the season.'

Drive past some Christmas lights with family or friends. Sing some Christmas songs. Find someone who needs some help and help them out. Tell everyone 'Merry Christmas.' Send a gift to an old friend who might think you've forgotten them. Try extra hard to not get upset about things people say, and try equally hard to not say any upsetting things. Read Luke 2. Hug more. Find somewhere to write down what Christmas means to you. Then drink so much Eggnog that you feel sick to your stomach.

That last one may not be necessary, but I haven't tried the recipe without it yet, and I don't want to try.

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Disagreeing With Religion

When I was young, I remember sitting with my Papa (that's what we called my dad) at the table, in the car, at his office, on the couch. Papa was a very intellectual man, with two doctorates and a love of study. As his brother recently put it "This is my brother, he has more degrees than a thermometer."

We would talk about all sorts of things, and as I grew older I began to develop a desire to emulate his seemingly endless knowledge of life. I, too, began to read voraciously. I, too, began to love learning. I, too, began to enjoy the opportunity for educational, critical discussion and observation. Many of his tenets have stuck with me to this day, which are obviously not of his invention. Still, in my developmental years, he was their origin.

There are three things I would like you to do: Be kind, be kind, be kind.

The one who wins the argument is the one who says what they have to say, then shuts up.

If you don't have anything kind to say, don't say anything at all.

You can look for a new job all you like, but you don't leave the one you have until you have another.

A marriage where decisions are made equally is best -- but if the balance needs to tilt, let it tilt to the wife. In all the unhappy marriages I've seen, the husband made all the decisions. Never the other way.

You might fool someone in many things, but you can never make someone that you don't love believe that you love them.

If you're going to err, err on the side of the Lord.

Obviously the above points are philosophical in nature, but I learned plenty of the factual from him as well. Credit for my learning to read, write, and do math goes to my brother, Seth. Papa then set a standard for me, in literature, in skill, in ability, and in manhood, which I strive to attain to this day. I suspect I will do so until the day I die. In many ways, for my formative years and onwards, he was a standard of truth.

Papa made a good standard of truth because you never doubted he loved you, but he didn't hesitate to tell you when you were wrong. Because I have a hefty dose of pride in me, being told I was wrong was always a sting. Like many sons, craving the approval of my father, his every praise was gold to me, and his disagreement was a hard blow to my ego (of which I deserved and deserve many). Still, when Papa and I disagreed on a point, I knew what to do. It was time to learn and change. My father's information or opinion guide the development of my own, and I course corrected. I would not make that mistake again, because Papa told me what it was, and I knew he would guide me true.

Later on I would fly half way around the world (nearly literally) to serve as a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons) in a small country called Armenia. Bordering Iran, Azerbaijan, Turkey, and Georgia, Armenia was about the size of Maryland. Missionary work there is much more encouraging than in the US, because the introductions are easier. The naturally friendly Armenian people invite you into their homes out of curiosity and hospitality. I never failed to find a friendly face, despite my out-of-the-ordinary appearance, in both dress and ethnicity.

In sitting with Armenians and discussing beliefs and religion, I would often hear people say: "I believe this, but this Church doesn't," or "I don't believe this, but that religion does," and on these conflicting viewpoints, people would choose to go somewhere where the theology most closely matched their personal opinion. From observation, I developed a conviction on such methodology:

If you find a religion that agrees with all of your personal beliefs, you can be certain that's not the one for you.

I think of little me and my relationship with Papa. I wonder who I would've ended up with if, as a child, I was given the opportunity to choose a father whose beliefs, knowledge, and opinions aligned most closely with mine. Such a father would likely have taught me that playing video games for hours at a time is awesome, that nutrition is irrelevant, that there really is no greater achievement in life than staying up all night watching a teenage mutant ninja turtles marathon, and that cleaning my room was utterly useless. Such a father would have certainly destroyed me, and I would not be where I am today.

My experience is that anyone who believes in God, believes that he is all-knowing, and that compared to him our knowledge is irrelevant. No one is questioning the intelligence or abilities of God: if He is indeed God, it is understood His power and intelligence trumps the sum total of all men on earth.

If that is true, then why would we look for a religion that agrees with us?

In fact, it can be assumed that a religion that agrees with us perfectly is definitely not truly God's, because let's face it, we're just not that smart. There could perhaps be no greater expression of pride than believing that the philosophy system that we developed in our walk of life has raised us up to such an extent, that our own beliefs and thoughts are on par with the Father of all mankind, who created us, this world, and perhaps the entire Universe.

A religion that agrees with you completely? Not God's.

And why would we expect it to be? Math isn't governed by the students, and chemistry is not decided by the chemists. Physicists have no control over physics, and history, though perhaps rewritten by historians, cannot truly be changed by them. Truths cannot be altered by the observer -- this is what makes them true.

We are not born with truth, we acquire it through study and error.

My religion has disagreed with me many a time, and just as Papa disagreed with me when I was young, I thought, I asked, I learned, I grew.

'But wait!' one might rightly protest 'How then can we avoid being taught something false in the search for truth?' That is a crucial question, to which I have found two answers.

There are two ways to assess truth:

1. Experiment.
2. Ask someone who can be safely relied on.

Of these two options, experimenting is the greatest, and easiest to use.

Is there a God? To know, I must experiment. I must read, I must ask, I must question, I must try, I must fail. I have heard He answers prayers, and it is logical that He would if He loves me, so that could be a good place to start. Ask Him if He is there.

If and once I have ascertained that He is there, I can seek His aid in determining where I might go to learn more. This has been my process in life, which I learned from Papa. I learn, I try, I attempt, and then I am told I am wrong. When I am told I am wrong, I must think, ask, learn, and grow, so that I am now right where once I was wrong. And considering how often I am wrong, I'm getting a lot of practice with this method.

But there is one road that leads to failure, and that's looking for a system that agrees with me, one where my beliefs are all held, not challenged, and those around me are all too happy to confirm to me that my every thought and opinion is true, right, and good.

A deadlier trap in which more men have fallen, perhaps we have never seen.

Thursday, November 8, 2012

POTUS schmotus: My Thoughts on the Election

In case you haven't heard, there was a presidential election.

Now when I make that statement, obviously I do so with a fair deal of implied sarcasm -- considering the news coverage and public domain chatter that revolved around the battle between the Democratic incumbent and Republican challenger, obviously you must have not only heard about it, but be able to list some key divisive issues. The real tragedy is that this next statement isn't sarcastic:

In case you haven't heard, Massachusetts and Colorado became the first states to legalize recreational use of marijuana, gay marriage became legal by a popular vote for the first time -- previously it has failed popular votes, and Puerto Rico will soon become the 51st state. New flag time! These issues all deserve their own thought and consideration, which unfortunately it would seem the majority of Americans were not giving them until they were voted on. (Not throwing stones here, I didn't know either.)

Possibly of greater importance even than these major movements is how things went with your local representatives. Being significantly less bound by party politics than the President, having a vague idea of where the party platforms draw the line will not necessarily help you know which Senator or Congressman will support your views, unless you did specific research on those individuals. These representatives often march to the beat of a much less national drum, which is why republican senators can be elected in inarguably blue states. But we didn't hear much about them.

Why?

It must be because the President of the United States (POTUS) has such exceptionally great power that his alignment will be the single determining factor in the resolution of issues that really matter. Right? It seems that that would be the only logical reason for the extreme focus placed on one person come election time. Let's see what the President can do about those issues:

Economy: Possibly the most heatedly debated topic, and ironically the least well understood. An economy as large as ours is as complex as a living organism, and is dependent on billions of them. What power does the President have over the economy? Very little. Unless there's a magic economy wand hidden somewhere I don't know of, he can mainly do one thing: Inspire confidence in buyers, encouraging people to invest. Other than that, everything must be passed through the senate and/or congress, including stimulus packages etc. Any actual decisions he makes are way too complicated for even a very intelligent man like Mitt Romney or Barack Obama to understand, so they are usually just doing what the most intelligent financial minds of our times suggest they do.

Healthcare: One of the most shocking moments of the campaign for me was when I heard Senator Romney declare that he would get rid of 'Obamacare.' I turned to Krista, who spent more formative years in the US than I did. 'He can't do that, right?' I said. No, he can't. POTUS has less power over healthcare than he does over the economy. Really, pretty much no power.

Education: Nope. The funniest is listening to candidates talking about what department's they'll cut. Two that Republican candidates like to consider putting on the chopping block are the department of education and the environmental protection agency. Well, guess who has no power to just throw out departments? POTUS, that's who.

Abortion: Nope.

Gay Marriage: Nope.

Medicare: Nope.

Gun Control: Nope.

Environment: Nope. (See Education)

Government Size: Nope.

Terrorism: Getting closer.

War: Yes and no. The President may send in troops with essentially a free hand, but he cannot declare war against any other country. Congress must do this.

In fact, the vast majority of POTUS' actual power is summarized nicely in the constitution. Now, there are some other 'powers' that he has, which may be why we believe he has any power over the above mentioned items. They are:

1. Influencing public opinion. When the President says something, typically people listen. We did pick him after all, so he should represent us. But considering that most elections are not landslide, we should remember that we still only kind of liked him more than the other guy, both of whom a ton of people thought would do a good job.

2. Presenting legislature. The President has an entourage, his cabinet, which writes legislature that could be loosely shaped by his suggestion, or simply receive his stamp of approval after being written. This legislature is typically more powerful because some senators/congressmen feel a need to show loyalty to the party by supporting the president, but this is a double-edged sword, as representatives on the other side of the aisle may vote against it for those same reasons. It can also be more powerful because more of the public will know about it, since it usually gets more media attention. But still, he can't make it law.

3. Veto. This is probably what most people would mention when they think of the power that the president has over making laws. As a refresher if it's been a while since social studies: A law must pass through congress and the senate with a majority. It then goes to the desk of the president, where he must sign it. He may choose to veto instead, in which case the law is sent back to congress and senate. At this point it is voted on again, and if it passes with 2/3 majority, then it is made law regardless of POTUS. That is a good deal of power, but how often are laws vetoed? Well, here is the complete list, and some presidents have used it liberally, but generally the more vetoes that are used, the more get overridden. President Obama has only vetoed twice while in office, which is less than anyone since James Garfield.

4. Choose new supreme court justices. This is obviously an important power, but it's generally dispersed over time, as judges serve for life, while presidents are elected every four years. And still, the judges can only stop congress from passing laws that are unconstitutional, they cannot make new laws. Also, justices certainly don't mind defying expectations, and on the whole are trying to listen to the constitution.


What am I trying to say here?

The founding fathers did indeed make a government of diffused power, where one person becoming a tyrant was logically impossible. We do indeed live in that country and support that government. The problem is that we are living in a grand republic, but we are treating it like a monarchy. And from this comes corruption.

By focusing on the President, we centralize our focus, and give him power over public opinion. This is dangerous, but I don't think it's dangerous for the reason so many claim. I am much less concerned at the amount of attention we are giving the President. Generally, I feel like our candidates are good people trying to do good things by their conscience. What I am concerned about, is that with all our attention on the President, we are not paying attention to our congressmen and senators.

I don't think the President is involved in major conspiracies or fraud and deceit, because he is too closely watched and criticized by the nation.
I think that many local representatives are, because they are not closely watched or criticized by the nation.

I don't want to demonize, I don't think that most politicians are as bad as people suggest, but I think they can get away with a lot of broken promises and irresponsible politics because we do not learn about, remember, and respond to their words and actions.

And that's the concerning thing. I fear we are not worthy of our Republic. I don't worry the system is broken, but that the system is too beautiful for us to work with. We were given a President so we wouldn't have a King, but we react to him as if he were a King, and so in our minds give him the powers of a King, which are completely fictional.

I hope you're not upset if your preferred presidential candidate didn't win. He is not a King. He will not dictate the laws, or your life. I hope the identity of the President does not color your opinion of this country. He will not change the economy, education, environment, or any other social issue. He cannot do the things we believe he can. Our ancestors made it that way.

But I hope we're happy with our congressmen and senators. I hope we know their names. I hope we know their policies. I hope that it is them, and not the president, who must listen to our united voice and serve us as we support them. I hope we pray for them. I hope we remember them. I hope we hail the honorable ones, and expose those who would profit from our ignorance. Because they are the ones writing and voting on the laws in this country, and they are getting far too little of our attention.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Dungeons & Dragons: The Raven Queen's Gift

INDEX

BACKSTORY
CHARACTER INTRODUCTIONS
CHAPTER 1: INFESTED BASEMENTS
CHAPTER 2: A WIZARD'S HOUSE
CHAPTER 3: A CARNIVAL... OF BETRAYAL




BACKSTORY

"Lord Bahamut asked Ioun to speak
but Moradin spoke instead
His words filled the void from heaven to hell
and placed all of us in its stead
The words of his singing, continue on ringing
In the halls of the elves of Pelor

Asmodeus sent Tiamat to learn
what Moradin's words had done
The people of hell were astonished to learn
That we had bloomed under the sun
Not fond of these others, he sent out his brothers
Gruum'sh and Bane to devour

The war that began need never have ended
For in those days no man could perish
But over the eons Bahamut grew tired
And sought out an end to the garish
So in desperation, he sought revelation
From a woman he understood not

And thusly the dragon cut short all our breath
By calling the Raven who introduced death"

As the schoolteacher finished his class and closed his tome, the children rose from the ground to head off to their homes. No children had been allowed on the streets of Fallcrest after the falling of the sun for a century and half now, when the magistrate of the town decreed it.
Settlements and protectorates have long fallen to the then sudden influx of beasts and evil creatures; this final bastion now constitutes the only town worthy of the title within the great expanse of the Nentir vale that stretches from the Dawnforge Mountains to the Stonemarch in the west. To the north lay the Nen and Wintermist lakes, and beyond that the Winterbole Forest, through which strangers came to Nentir. The people seldom speak of the southern stretches, for the Ogrefest Hills and Witchlight fens are as treacherous as their names imply, while the Harken Forest beside them remains the most concerning by far, if more innocuous by name. The city's foundations had been layed by dwarves, who welcomed the humans and halflings as life on the downs grew dangerous. Even elves and half-elves find shelter here in small number. The most influential citizens are represented by the two Tiefling families, who, though onle a few dozen among hundreds, hold great influence with the people. Even dragonborn, having travelled from distant lands, are sometimes seen searching for work as some extra muscle.

Occasionally one can still find an Eladrin soul. Elvish in form and descended from the Fey, in olden days they stood as Lords of Protectorates, their soldiers prospering under their wise rule, holding beasts and worshippers of evil at bay. However, as the people grew slothful and dependent on them, the Eladrin lost either the strength or the will to lead. Fallen one by one, their mansions now sparsely dot the countryside as a reminder of their once-empire.

The people fear to walk far from the village, for travel between settlements is no longer always safe. The eyes that see in the dark and the teeth that tire of beast's blood watch for those that wander. This once vibrant land now yearns for a chance to believe that life can be rich again -- and that they might be shown the path to that future.

Our adventure begins with grim tidings -- Aramil of the Southborn Eladrin, Protector of Fallcrest and Ruler of the Vale, has died at the surprisingly young age of 258. With no son to replace him, and no male next of kin, the city has fallen into disarray over who will take charge. Hope, son of Akmenos, and Reverence, son of Damakos, represent the two prominent Tiefling families likely to assume the role, unchallenged by all but one another. In the midst of this tension, a funeral is held for the late Ruler Aramil. In attendance are most of the prominent townfolk, envoys from settlements across the vale, and what little family remained to him: a single stepdaughter, Aria.

Also in attendance were four individuals who, though they did not know it yet, would drastically change the town, the Vale, and especially young Aria.




CHARACTER INTRODUCTIONS

There sat Vincennes, perhaps the least notable person in that or any given crowd. Not particularly smart or charismatic, he is mostly just solid. His unassuming childhood took place in a mostly human settlement on the very edge of the Vale and its civilization. The settlers there cut their farms and lives out of the surrounding forests. In their simple way, this life accomodated their needs, if barely. His father was a hard man who spent most of his time hunting to provide for the family. His mother was sweet-natured but slow-witted and so had few skills, but her exceptional beautiful kept her husband from complaint. Instructed by his father's brothers, a taxidermist and a butcher, Vincennes quickly became adept with a variety of blades and meat preparation.

Vincennes' great fall from his small beginnings would begin when Clovis and Marteau, his uncles, included him in the local pastime -- a club of pugilistic battle, bred of boredom. Men would beat the living tar out of one another as the local cleric provided emergency healing and occasional resurrections. Unfortunate for Vincennes, who had never payed close attention until his first time in the ring, noone had clearly explained to him the no-weapons rule. His rite of manhood was thus marred by the two 8-inch blades which Vincennes used to eviscerate his opponent. While the other was healed, Vincenne's vicious acts, perceived as cowardly by all around, could not be charmed away. In face of a tide of derision and scorn, Vincennes struck out, never understanding what he had done to earn  him such antipathy.

His wanderings had eventually led him to the town of Fallcrest, where he had taken to sleeping in the cemetery for lack of funds. When the preparations for the funeral began to take place, he saw the caterers arrive, and suddenly it seemed like quite the good place to be. Having left instructions to give all who desired to attend free admittance, the late Aramil assured that Vincennes had no problem getting a seat early.

Seated nearby was another journeyman, his name was Tycho.

The Elven town of Kyndale was nestled deep in the Winterbole forest, an old wood guarded and curated by her inhabitants. Viewing their ancestral land as sacred, they preferred to venture out for trade and adventure, rather than have it come to them. One such party happened upon a troll, who had previously discovered a human family ill prepared to deal with it. This resulted in one less troll, and an orphaned human child, Kaymon.

But we’re not telling his story, we’re telling the story of his son.

Tycho’s father was always the village outlier, the human among elves. The headstrong adventurer whose luck defied all odds. His human face and Elven tongue always causing a stir in the trading caravans, and whose greatly different perspective was always admired by the town elders.

But really, we’re not telling his story.

The boy Tycho, growing up in his father’s shadow, had taken quite a liking to that shadow. Literally. The expectations hoisted upon him were more than he could handle at times, and he would take up hiding just to avoid the seemingly endless comparisons to his father.

It was there in the shadows he discovered a hidden power, and began his tutelage as a Warlock.
One of those trading caravans, an ordinary venture that would have taken them through a port city or other trading hub, never returned. The weeks stretched on, the seasons changed. The elves were patient, their perspectives much greater than the young Tycho, but their optimism began to wane. Despite their clever words, he could see it in their eyes. No word of thieves nor stories of ambushes made their way to Kyndale. The lack of news was the most disturbing of all. No trace of them were found. The seemingly endless luck of Kaymon had appeared to run out. As the elders began to prepare a memorial, Tycho prepared for his journey.

Because the one thing he knew for sure; was that his father didn’t believe in luck.

Also in attendance was a mysterious Eladrin from the far-off and sparsely known House of Sy, Dorian.

He carried a weight with him. A burden that is far greater than the weight of the evil that surrounded the lands. As a child his family escaped an Orc and Ogre massacre - where he witnessed dozens of his cousins and friends die from wounds received at the hands of Orcs. He was haunted by the cries and screams of so many friends and family and this led him on the path of the clerics. As a brilliant student that was expected to not only be the Lord of his House but as a possible candidate for the Chancelor of the Mountain Quarter. He wouldn't be distracted from his new found mission, he wanted to heal and bring light to the world.

Dorian was admitted to the highly prestigious Wren Academy where the High Cleric of the Dorian People takes only 3 students every 100 years. Dorian completed his training just in time for the second major tragedy of his life. After almost a century away, he was expecting to return as a prodigal son to a great feast in his honor, at least that had been the plan. Until something went terribly wrong. Dorian's brother Asrenu (pronounced "Az Wren Knew") had taken a different path to deal with his troubled childhood. Instead he had looked to the dark powers of Torog, the evil God of the undead.  Asrenu was also a brilliant magician and in a devils bargain he had traded his soul for the ability to send a scourge to the Orc people of Gruumsh that would convert them to undead. He didn't care that it might create a greater evil, he was blinded by his search for vengeance.

The details are fuzzy as to what occurred next, but what is known is that a package meant for the Orcs was accidentally dropped in the middle of the central plaza on the busiest market day of the year. Even worse, the city was filled to capacity to await the return of Dorian that evening. One of the few surviving priests reported that individuals started arriving at the synagogue complaining of a deep depression, and then suddenly there were screams, and everything turned to madness.

There had never been an event like it before- an entire city turned almost instantly to a mass of undead. This new variety of zombies wasn't interested in new blood, they attacked each other until the there was nothing left. Before the sun had reached the top of the sky, the city was burning and lay wasted. Only the Lord's Castle was left untouched, protected by a spell cast by Asrenu just has he realized what he had done.

The sun was setting as Dorian arrived to hell on earth. He spurred his horse along, wading through deep blood and rotten flesh until he picked his way up to the castle. When he arrived to the gate, the doors opened easily allowing him to walk up the stairs to his parent's chamber. He sensed a darkness as he approached and he walked through to see Torog himself dragging a shackled Asrenu into a dark Abyss and before Dorian could react Asrenu threw a dark look his way and disappeared forever.

He looked to the bed where his parents had a terrified look on their face. The darkness had taken them. Asrenu hadn't touched a weapon in 100 years, but he lifted the ancient long sword from the coat of arms behind him and killed his own parents before they had fully turned. After that he blacked out. It took Dorian over a month before he could speak again, but when he did recover- his abilities were gone. He could only complete the most simple of spells. He felt like he was starting over.

One more major change had occurred; Dorian was filled with rage and had lost his way. For three years he wandered, searching for something, he just didn't know what. Helping where he could, but mostly just lost. And there he stood, leaning against a back wall at the funeral of another Eladrin.




CHAPTER 1: INFESTED BASEMENTS

Shortly after the funeral services ended, the attendees stood casually around the refreshment table. Dorian picked away casually at the traditional eladrin offerings, Tycho walked the shadows, observing, and asking an occasional question, and Vincennes tried fruitlessly to eat his soup with a fork instead of a spoon. One by one they were approached by the young step-daughter of the late magistrate, Aria, and a warrior already purchased to the cause, a silent dragonborn. She explains to them that as the last of her line, the affairs of the magistrate had fallen to her care at the time of his death, two weeks prior.

She has been living in his state-owned manor, acting as executor of his will, when strange occurrences began taking place. Servants sent to the basement for supplies or items from storage would not return, and at night scratching and distant howling could be heard, permeating through the walls of the home. Donning her longsword and crossbow, Aria had gone to the basement with the training of her childhood, determined to find the cause. There she discovered a trap door, once sealed tightly beneath her step-father's belongings which they had begun to clear out. Opening the trap door, she stealthily slid into the lower once-dungeons of the manner. Peering from the shadows, she discovered that kobolds had established a solid foot-hold in these forgotten layers of the family's estate.

Aria sealed the door firmly to prevent further 'accidents,' and searched through her family's oldest papers. There she found references to the old dungeon, the monsters that somehow found their way there through some unknown tunnel, and references to an old winged serpent that once stalked those stony paths. Knowing that the funeral would attract many warriors, magicians, and skilled assassins, she decided to pay her respects to the step-father she barely knew by seeking the help she would need in order to cleanse his house.

Each warrior won over mostly by the prospect of wealth and very barely at all by the intention to help a fellow soul in distress, the dragonborn, half-elf, human and two eladrin went to investigate the dangerous depths, not knowing how deep they would delve.

Never having done battle together before, the band of adventurers began their quest with growing pains. Stumbling first across a group of kobold slinger and skirmishers, they battled mightily, if clumsily. Eventually dispatching the weaker front line of kobolds, while Dorian gave thanks to his God for His aid in dispatching the violent beasts, Tycho teleported down into a pit of bodies to light them on fire, forgetting he could not teleport out, and lighting himself on fire while his companions attempted to pull him back out again. Eventually bypassing the portcullis blocking their path to the next room with a fey step, the group ventured onward to the next room.

Here, kobold skirmishers lured the party into a deadly trap of spring-activated paralyzing darts shot from suits of armor, and skeletal hands that sprung from scattered sarcophagi to bind the feet of adventurers where they stood. Our bold party, rather than trying to destroy the suits of armor or disarms the dart shooter, tried to push the 5000+ pound sarcophagi onto the skirmishers, which turned out to be impossible, while Dorian spent the majority of the battle paralyzed as he was peppered by dart after dart. One of the kobolds tried to have a conversation with the group, and when he had successfully gotten Vincennes to begin monologuing, launched a surprise attack. Eventually they reached the skirmishers and dispatched of them swiftly, proceeding to sacrilegiously deface the shrine which the kobolds had set up to worship Tiamat. Let's hope that doesn't come back to haunt them in the end...

In the next room our noble adventurers found a group of shameless kobolds using a dungeon of sarcophagi as a playground for sport where they slung a large ball on a rope tethered to the ceiling, trying to knock skulls off of pedestals. Our group marched boldly into the hall and became the new targets for the kobolds sport. Here, the dragonborn warrior quickly proved his worth displaying his mighty strength with wide swipes of his warhammer. Braving the swinging orb, the warriors made their way to the raised platform where they disposed of the Kobolds only to be confronted by two young drakes that stood guard beyond. Finally, the groups made their way into the lowest room of the dungeon.

"Here," Aria told them, "is the last room mentioned in our records."

The group advanced stealthily into the room, trying to make no sound at all, but a sudden rumbling sounds echoed through the hall and while the Kobold mage raised his arms, unleashing a set of drakes and multiple kobold warriors on the adventurers, a large boulder careened from the darkness to begin magically rotating the hall. While the first drake was dispatched of all too easily, the remaining horde proved a formidable obstacle. As party members lay dying with Dorian hard pressed to heal them as well as himself, the boulder nearly crushing their lives, the dragonborn and Aria fought to their last breath to triumph in the end.

Recovering and pilfering the bodies of the fallen, the party acquired the kobold sage's 'staff of the warmage,' and in addition located a key and a map showing a hidden door. The adventurers steeled themselves for the next confrontation and opened the door. Down they traveled -- the path became less well worn, and more stony, like the interior of a cave. It wasn't long until they noticed they could see their own breath as the temperature began to rapidly drop. Eventually they arrived in a large cavern, mostly stone but with a large patch of ice covering the middle of the ground. As the party cautiously advanced, a young white dragon flew from around a rocky pillar to blast the companions with icy breath that chilled to the bone. A lengthy battle ensued and the party found unusual strength and success with their magic and muscle; Still, the dragon was mighty, and as the last blow was made to his grand figure, he reached out with a mighty talon and wrapped his claws around Aria. Falling backwards, the defeated dragon toppled to the icy ground which cracked and then broke beneath him. The last thing the party heard as they stared down into the ground was Aria's anguished scream disappearing into the inky blackness of the pit.

After casting a few rocks into the pit and throwing a torch down, the party decided nothing could be done, quickly abandoning their once ally to her fate. While their minds quickly erased Aria from their consciences, they looted the dragon's cavern. The party then ascended back the way they came to inform the residents of the mansion that the last living member of their master's family was dead. Callously, they also suggested that the now unemployed servants should pay them from their deceased master's coffers. They were given nothing, and left the doomed house, and the dragonborn washed his hands of them, going his own way.




CHAPTER 2: A WIZARD'S HOUSE

Walking away from the mansion and frustrated with their dearth of treasure found, our tired party headed to the inn to rest for the evening. The next morning they began walking towards the market in order to sell their recently acquired loot, and on the way were approached by a small wiry gnome. He introduced himself, as Adokul Foechuckle.

If you have an extremely high perception modifier, you might just if you're lucky spy our friend Adokul Foechuckle slowly pacing through the forest.  I say "friend".  Truly, Adokul is "friend" of very few except his true friends, the beasts and plants of the forest.  And this is what he might say to your curious inquiries, in a high pitched shriek:

"Ayyyy ekeroo spligaliart killiwack toto!!!!"

He would pretend that this is his secret Druidic tongue, but it's not.  He just likes to speak in gibberish to scare people away. Adokul Foechuckle was born on the edge of civilization and the Wyld in the gnomen village of Gwynderock Goosenuzzle.  He was born to two bright, cheery parents.  He was neither bright nor cheery.  Unless he was lieing or causing mischief.  Of course, all gnomes are mischievious, but Adokul perhaps took it to another, some might say unhealthy, level.  As he grew throughout his 30 year youth (this is gnomen custom) he was often isolated and a loner, though he had a voracious somewhat insane sense of humor if convinced to take part in the fun.  yet he always felt more comfortable in the wild, in nature.  He went on long walks in the woods that got progressively longer.  He began to commune with the nature spirit of the rocks in these woods, Ergon Girsbuck, as the Dwarves know him.   During his college years, at age 32, he mysteriously dissapeared into the woods, never to be seen again. 


Adokul spent five years just wandering.  On the fifth year and fifth day, he began to see with another vision.  He was transforming into a druid.  The vague communications with Ergon became clear, and he developed the ability to speak to his earthly manifestations - rocks, soil, trees, and, as a gnome, all types of beasts.  At some point he studied for two years with a pack of druids, although he later struck out on his own.

Adokul's spirit companion Ergon works in turn for Eratil, the only being the irreverent Adokul has any respect towards.  Eratil is the guardian of the Earth and is depressed by the rampant corruption, greed, and persecution raging across the world which are inevitably hurting the soil and air.  He also knows of a deeper threat that must be combated if life is to survive.  Although seemingly rash and irreverent, Adokul in fact feels a burning passion and determination to save life as we know it.  He has come to the party to warn them of the danger posed to Life, and comes bearing a prophecy of a group of mortals who could defeat this threat.


Adokul informs the group that Eratil has sent him to the town of Fallcrest to find a female rogue eladrin, a male eladrin cleric, a human ranger, a half-elf warlock, and a dwarven paladin. The party informs him of the loss of the female eladrin, and that they have never met a dwarven paladin. Adokul, wirey and shifty, informs them that he has come to take them to his master's master, who has summoned them. Our party, having nothing better to do, decides to accompany the sneaky little creature, who takes them to the center of town and wades directly into the water fountain there. Inviting everyone else in, Adokul waits for them all to be in the water (while the town's onlookers give them confused stares) before removing a peculiar looking key from his jacket pocket and inserts it into the fountain's centerpiece. The marbled floor swings open beneath them, and the party finds itself falling down, down deep into the earth, sliding until they fell all over themselves on a dark floor. Looking up, they saw a large stone door before them. They had arrived at the wizard Gal-gal's front door.

Moving to inspect the door, they found nothing out of the ordinary, but when Vincennes reached out to casually pull the handle open, an arrow shot out from the lock and severely wounded him. Quickly restored to health by his companions, the party began considering the best approach. They searched the small cave from top to bottom. Fearing more death, they searched for hidden buttons, tried magic and strength to burst the door, all to no avail. Once the party had considered every apparent options, and tried all they could think of, they went do open the door again. Apparently only one arrow had been loaded into Gal-gal's front door. The door opened easily on the second try.

Entering the door, our heroes found themselves in a nearly empty hall of majestic decor. Huge pillars lined either side while ever-burning torches shone high above the floor. directly infront of the party towards the end of the pristine marbled hall stood three statues, monkeys, one holding his hands over his eyes, the other over his ears, the last over his mouth. At the end of the hall was a doorway, where an opaque purple haze proved a substantial physical barrier.

Soon the noble warriors found that by extending their hand and touching the monkey statues, they would lose the sense the animal displayed. While Vincennes and Adokul lost the ability to hear, Tycho lost the ability to see and Dorian lost the ability to speak. The group found that, having abandoned their senses they were now able to pass through the purple haze, and holding hands for Tycho's sake, they travelled down further and further until they reached a room of precipitous rock platforms in molten lava, while only Dorian, who could not speak, could see where treasure was hidden throughout the room. Using a collection of staffs and ropes the group made their way slowly to the other side where they could see a door. Having reached it, they realized that Adokul's nimble step enabled him to cross many of the gaps with ease, despite many of them crumbling below their feet as they passed over. Adokul succeeded in collecting most of the treasure which featured valuable stones, a painting, 2 pounds of high quality weed, sniper's bracers and a non-descript ring of +1.

Making their way up the stairs, the party walked into a room dark with shadow. The sound of shuffling bodies could be heard beyond and, upon lighting a torch, they found themselves in a hall with large velvet drapes on either side, filled with zombies. Jumping into the fray our noble warriors began to hack their way through the flesh-eating abominations. The party began to falter when facing the undead horde lead by a sturdy zombified dwarf repeatedly hurling his own body parts at them and realizing that even those killed managed to , but managed to turn the tides when they realized that pulling down the drapes on either side of the hall flooded it with sunlight, lighting their quarry on fire and keeping them down, and when the rays of light reached the zombie dwarf, the mighty paladin Northic found himself cured of his long-time curse and aided the party in striking down the shambling corpses. In a brief moment of respite, the dark paladin introduced himself.

"Northic was once loved and enjoyed the kinship of his clan. Always following his own instinct and willing to question his own beliefs his ways often concerned the leaders of the clan.  Northic was a hard worker and aided the clan the best he could. This all came to a grinding halt when he took on the mantle of the queen of winter and death herself, the Raven Queen. Once the clan elders heard of his new faith Northic was exiled from his clan. He left only with a few mementos of his family and the basics to survive, which the elders reminded was a blessing -- that they let him have that much. Northic now seeks to learn why he was lead to the Raven Queen and prove himself as a worthy Knight."

Having made the introductions, the party sought to move forward through the wizard's house but found the door to be locked, with three empty marble-sized slots. Searching the rooms and desecrating the bodies, the group eventually found gold, amber, and lavender marbles, which they knew needed to be arranged somehow in the slots. Nervously, wondering what might happen if the puzzle were completed incorrectly, they put the marbles in... and miraculously got it right in the first try. On they went, up a seemingly endless flight of stairs, to a trap door. Peeking through the trap door, the 5 found they had entered a winter wonderland, despite it being midsummer. They also saw that here, on top of a tower open on all sides to the sweeping city landscape below, lay in wait a giant polar bear. Rushing from the trap door to face the snow-capped behemoth, they soon found the icy ground to be challenging to balance on, and the unguarded edges all too close together. The heroes charged in, and as the battle raged they put their wits to the test in an attempt to turn the battle to their favor by any means possible. Northic taunted the ursine monster while Adokul cast about fire seeds, melting the ice for easier footing, then ultimately burning the floor beneath them, collapsing a large section. While Dorian cleverly thought to tie ropes to the pillars holding the tower's suspended roof above them, then tie it to themselves in order to avoid falling to their death, Adokul transformed into a baby polar bear and attempted to convince the larger bear it was its father. Convinced, the larger bear allowed the bear-disguised-Adokul to climb on to its back, where he transformed back and took the opportunity for a mighty blow. Steel clashed and frigid wind blew, and after sweat and blood were spilt aplenty, the bear fell, the party survived.

From the suspended roof above them came down a rope, which, upon climbing, led them at last to the wizard Gal-Gal.

In the musty room with barely any furnishings except mountains of tomes and scrolls, an elderly man turned from the fireplace to look at the battle-worn adventurers. Having braved his ridiculous security systems, the group asked why they had been led to him, and so he explained...

However, the group was 'too tired' and found his wise and detailed explanation of the ancient lore surrounding their noble quest 'too long,' and so, while I would love to include his brilliantly detailed explanation of their quest here, I cannot, because none can remember it now, as those who were there did not listen well. Not that he's bitter.


In the end, the group learned that in order to defeat the architect of the evil sweeping their land, they would need to find weapons from other planes, portals to which could be found in the hometowns of the adventurers. To help them on their quest, he would provide the party with gifts. Vincennes received a sword with the ability to smite an ally completely and forever, Northic received a potion which could change the drinker's very nature and fundamental composition. Tycho was hit on the head. Not all gifts were good.





CHAPTER 3: A CARNIVAL... OF BETRAYAL

After another night's rest at the inn, our hardy group of warriors decide to set out on the adventure the wizard has laid out for them. Truly they are a united group, their battles fought together have strengthened their (platonic) bonds, and now nothing could cause them to turn against one another... or could it? After deciding to begin their efforts by heading to Dorian's hometown, the group is interrupted in their travels by a man in a purple top hat and a long, embroidered coat. He bows deep, greeting them with a thick accent and twirl of his handlebar moustache. "Hello, you lot mightn't be warriors, by any chance? You see, we're holding a carnival in town today," the men had indeed noticed the colorful stands and games around, "and we still have not found competitors worthy of the main event: Our Grand Tournament! There are many prizes to be had by all!" Never ones to be distracted from their main goals, the group signed on immediately.

Led to the middle of a stadium, the group were introduced to the crowd at large, as well as the carnival's champion, an albino goliath wizard, covered from head to toe in fearsome red markings, the symbols of his people.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

I'm Anti-Anti-Pro-Anti-Gay Marriage -- and I Think You Should Be Too

Krista and I like to talk politics sometimes. Luckily, we're not the arguing type, so it's always civil -- though I suppose it's always civil regardless based on the lieu of our tete-a-tetes. Krista is against the legalization of gay marriage, because she believes it's wrong. She doesn't have any fancy political references or memorized statistics or even memorized scriptures on the subject, she just believes it's wrong and so, by her own logic she is opposed to it. It is from conversations with her and others, and especially observing her while I am involved in conversations with others about gay marriage, that I have decided my position on gay marriage: I am anti-anti-pro-anti-gay marriage -- and I think you should be too.

Just gonna break this down real quick here, with my definitions of things:

TAYLOR'S DEFINITIONS OF THINGS
Anti-gay marriage: 
     Someone who is opposed to the legalization of gay marriage.
Pro-anti gay marriage: 
     Someone who is sufficiently opposed to support the efforts of the opposition.
Anti-pro-anti gay marriage: 
     Someone who gets angry with or is upset with those who support the opposition.
Anti-anti-pro-anti gay marriage: 
     Not a big fan of those guys.

I remember sitting on my front lawn as my landlords went about the process of selling off any excess mortal trappings in order to prepare to move out west and begin their adventures in dentistry. Soon, there would be a vote to decide whether or not gay marriage would be legal in our empire state, and so naturally we discussed it. As we discussed our logic and reason and engaged in the oh so subtle mamba of political opinionating, Krista sat by my side, meek as usual.

Most people notice that Krista doesn't say much. It's a big concern for me, a big talker, who has a history of talking over others. I've tried to get her to speak up in group conversations, but she isn't a big fan. (She will kick me in the leg if I'm talking too much, which helps.) I've tried to coerce her into conversation, but she speaks if and only if she feels like she has something to say. I love that about her. When in a conversation with people, if Krista says something, listen closely. It has been filtered carefully.

So as we sat there discussing over lemonade on the warm lawn, Krista was suddenly, unexpectedly, and I'm guessing involuntarily, thrust into the conversation when Dave leans in and says "So, Krista, what do you think?" Dave's a nice guy, he likes hearing others opinions. Possibly caught off-guard, Krista shared her sincere and ungarnished opinion, because that's how she rolls: "Well, I'm against gay marriage, because I think it's wrong."

A momentary silence. Like responding with "Hai, shnorhakalutyun" to "Would you like cheese with that?" Krista had broken into this sophisticated intellectual debate speaking a whole different language: religious belief. Of course, Krista had just answered the question with her beautiful honesty, she did not know that her language would not be embraced here.

Krista made a bold choice, one which is surprisingly unpopular in a land of religious freedom. She decided to vote based on her religion. And that doesn't mean she voted according to the Mormon church, or that all Mormons will vote the same way - it means that from her personal relationship with God she had found a belief, and she was going to vote in a way that expressed that belief. Sadly, nowadays, I have seen that if you vote by your religion, and the only true reason you have for voting is the beliefs of your heart, you are considered ignorant or bigoted.

Ironically, that is ignorant and bigoted.

I believe voting according to your religious beliefs should be applauded.

Our upstairs friends went out searching for understanding of legal reasoning or implications, but Krista had taken her reasoning from a different place, a deeper place for her. Sadly, she was engaged in an uphill battle, because somebody had ruined the option of religious reasons for legal opinions long before she arrived on the scene: King Richard the Lionheart.


Alright, he probably wasn't the first, but he is an example: After instances like the Crusades, the suppression of scientific progress, and Bible hoarding, the renaissance happened, and nowadays artsy hipsters are convinced that religious involvement holds people back.

I can't really blame them. In the past 2 thousand years, man has caused a lot of hiccups in the name of religion. Of course, what man was doing in the name of religion, and what religion is to each individual, can often reveal themselves to be two very different things.

I'm a Christian man. I'm Mormon. I read the Bible. I read the Book of Mormon. Christ taught some interesting doctrine, and some tough pills to swallow. One of the toughest seems to be the commandment to do two things in conjunction: Loving God with all your heart by keeping his rules and trying to invite others to do the same, and loving other people no matter what their individual beliefs or decisions may be. Doing either one -- at least superficially -- becomes much easier if you can throw out the other. We all know people who 'love God' so much they get a little too aggressive in spreading what they consider 'his word.' Of course, there's also not much value in the ability to love everyone if you do so while ignoring every other rule God set out for you. So, how to do both? I'm no paragon of virtue, but there's something we're trying.

Yes, I'm religiously opposed to any sex outside of the marriage of a man and a woman, (note that that doesn't just include homosexuality) but there's a long list of people I love and care about deeply who had sex before marriage, are doing so now, and do so with people of either gender. On that same note, I'm religiously opposed to drinking, gambling, smoking, and so forth. If you cut out all my friends who do any of those things, I'd have no friends (well, not no friends, but far fewer), and I don't want to do that, because my friends rock and I love them. I believe they are all trying to be better people, and so am I, and together we get there faster than alone.

If it comes to a vote, I'd vote against gay marriage, along with other things I've mentioned and many more that I do think civilization is better without, because of my religion. Many of my friends would probably vote the other way, and I would respect the results of that vote, and my feelings for my friends wouldn't change much and, knowing them, I don't think theirs would for me either. Because we're all just trying, and voting according to your personal beliefs is OK, even if the only reason is after your heart-felt search for truth, these are the beliefs you found. At least I think so.